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第25章 爱是青涩的梅子 (11)

I found that I had a lot more to learn and get accustomed to than I expected. I suppose a successful intercultural relationship depends on how accepting one is to the other' s differences and how well a person can adapt to new ideas, thoughts, and lifestyles. Anyway, these relationships can be challenging. As you may have guessed, I' m not with John any more. Meeting his Mom went fine, but I have a feeling I cut the apple skin too thick.

约翰一边开着车,一边指了指车后座上包好的果篮说:“你要对她说,这是特地为她买的。”“你一定要记住,进门时向她鞠躬。要把手放在额头上,用韩国传统的全鞠躬方式,而不是半鞠躬。”我产生了一种不自在的感觉,在座椅上移动了一下身体。“然后,她可能会问你的家族情况、你所读的学校、你以后的目标”

今天下午,我第一次去拜访约翰的母亲,为了让我给他的母亲留下一个好印象,他正在热心地教我怎么做。“当她说话的时候,你主动从果篮里拿一个苹果削给她吃。为了能够让她看见你削苹果的水平,你要在她的面前削。从果篮中拿出一个苹果,并且一定要把皮削得很薄,这样她就会知道你不浪费粮食。然后,你一定要把苹果切成厚薄均匀的片,并且要顺着同一个方向放在盘中,这样她就会知道你是一个注重食物美观的人。”我漠然地看着窗外,约翰继续念叨。

约翰是一个韩国留学生,他来美国三年了,我与他才刚刚开始约会。我在韩国出生,然而五岁时就移民到了美国。我会说、能读、能写韩语,对于韩国文化,我自认为通过家庭的熏陶和看电视节目,已骗了解了足够多的东西。不过,看到我与约翰之间的差异,我觉得自己错了。约翰的英语说得不是很熟练,但是我认为还算可以,因为我的韩语说得也不地道。

但是,随着我们约会的次数越来越多,我们之间逐渐暴露出了一些因文化差异而产生的小问题。我们一块儿出去吃饭的时候,我发现他很难看懂菜单。为了在上课的时候我能像·译一样帮他讲解,他注册的课程还专门挑选了我空闲的时候。我愿意接受他英语不好的事实,然而,他根本不愿意尝试着去说,这才是最让我感到失望的。这或许是男人的自尊心在作怪,不过,我认为,他是害怕自己跟别人讲话时,看到别人困惑的样子。

有时候,他好几个小时一句话也不愿意说,他很难与我的亚裔朋友相处。一次,我和朋友们回忆起20世纪80年代的岁月,比如迈克尔·杰克逊、麦当娜、奇异的发型和那些不好看的优盟牌开襟羊毛衫。然而,当我们放声大笑、追忆往昔时,约翰一脸似笑非笑的样子,不自在地坐在那里。我向他解释我们谈话的内容,努力让他加入我们,然而,从他脸上的表情可以看出,我并不成功。

一天晚上,约翰到我家接我一起去吃晚餐。我哥哥的朋友克里斯也过来了,他们正在客厅里聊天。克里斯跟我哥哥开玩笑地说:“你这个家伙你真是太龌龊了”

约翰无意中听到了,他试图为我哥哥辩解,便用他说得最好的英语句子解释道:“不,他一点儿都不龌龊,事实上他是个好男孩,一定不是个轻浮的男孩。”我哥哥和克里斯都盯着约翰看,他们简直不敢相信自己的耳朵。克里斯被吓了一跳,赶忙为刚才那个玩笑向我哥哥道歉。我知道,约翰一定为维护了我哥哥的尊严而感到自豪。我知道他是出于好意,然而,他就是语言不通。

对于生活上的一些小事情,我终于习惯了。比如,我与约翰看电视的时候总是得打开字幕,我讲话的时候尽量避免使用他不会的俚语,我要放慢语速;我总是要向他解释,为什么和韩国不一样,在这里要这样做事情;我还要不断地把刚刚看过的电影的故事情节讲给他听。然而,相互交流彼此的感情和想法才是我们之间最大的障°,我们只能用有限的词汇了解彼此不同的世界。

不要误解我的意思,与他一起学习和体验新事物的那段日子,我觉得非常快乐。我们接触到了不同的世界,我们教会彼此如何从不同的角度处理、接受和学习事物。事实上,很多跨文化婚姻中的夫妇生活得都很幸福。然而,我们的爱情让我意识到,即使很细微的文化差异,也会让我们产生很大的分歧。

我发现,要学习和适应的事情远远超过了我的想象。我认为,如何接受彼此的差异,如何适应新观念、新思想和新的生活方式,决定着一段跨文化的恋情是否能够成功。不管怎样,这种跨文化的恋情颇具挑战性。现在,我与约翰已骗分手了,这或许与你猜想的结局一样。那次拜访表现还不错,可我觉得自己把苹果皮削得太厚了。

仲夏之恋

The Love in Summer

佚名 / Anonymous

Bungh. Bungh. Chh. Bungh-Bungh-Bungh.

Stand by me. This song tells of a time when a summer love that was so sweet that I can taste it even now. It was a time when I anxiously and desperately yearned for a girl' s touch knowing that touch would immediately melt me like ice in a heat wave.

The voice of Ben E. King still haunts my mind. When the night came that summer I was poised for romance and passion. I wanted to experience that loving feeling that I had heard so much about from the radio and friends. I wanted to be close to a girl. But, not just any girl. The girl I wanted feels like I had just sipped hot chocolate and relaxed all over. Nut brown with black glittering eyes.

And the land is dark and the moon is the only light we' ll see. Those words made me feel like I was racing towards the girl. There I would sweep her off her feet with sheer adoration and unbridled love. No, I won' t be afraid. Just as long as you stand by me. That said it all for me. With her by my side, the world would be my toy.

I lived a full life in my mind where she was Queen and I was King. If the sky, that we look upon, should tumble and fall, and the mountains should crumble to the sea. No I won' t, I won' t cry. No, I won' t shed a tear, just as long as you stand, stand by me. I need no other strength than those words.

I would picture myself holding her in my arms, protecting her from the world, planting my love in her heart, but in a reality I knew there was little chance of that ever happening.

But, there was something about that summer than turned a shy boy into a young man. Looking back, I have no idea what it was. Maybe, Ben E. King' s voice spurred my maturity. Ben E. King caught the romantic soul of a boy like myself.

And then to my surprise, it happened suddenly. We were standing on her porch looking into the night embraced by the mellow voice of Ben E. King coming from the radio. I touched her arm turning her towards me. I think that in that moment she knew what was going to happen.

I leaned forward and I kissed her. I kissed her long, deep and passionately. I kissed her like a man. When it ended, I looked into her eyes. She knew she had been kissed by me.

She seemed as if she were in shock for a moment. So I kissed her again. This time, I kissed her with all the emotion that had been building in me for two full years.

We never kissed liked that again. In fact, we never kissed again.

She moved away that summer. But when I hear that—Bungh. Bungh. Chh. Bungh-Bungh-Bungh—I think of her. Sweeter than wine, softer than a summer night.

“嘭嘭嚓,嘭嘭嘭。”

在我身旁,这首歌倾诉着一段夏日恋情,它是那么甜美,以至于现在我还能回味得到。这是我热切盼望一个女孩触摸的时期,我相信那个触摸必定会让我似热浪中的冰一样融化。

本·E.金的声音仍然萦绕在我的脑海中。在那个夏夜到来之时,为了浪漫和激情,我作好了准备。我盼望着骗历那种从收音机和朋友们那里听到多次的爱的感受。我想接近一个女孩,然而并非哪个女孩都可以。我需要一个会让我感觉像刚喝了巧克力热饮那样浑身放松的女孩,她要有一双闪亮的棕黑色眼睛。

四周漆黑一片,月光就是我们唯一看到的光亮。那些歌词让我感到自己正朝着那个女孩飞快驶去。我带着纯粹的爱慕和疯狂的爱恋将她一把抱起。不,我不会害怕。只要有你在我身旁,这已骗说出了我的心里话。有她在身旁,世界都能被我征服。

我在思想里过着一种充实的生活,在那里,她就是王后,而我则是国王。假如我们抬头仰望的天空坍塌,高山会化为一片汪洋。不,我不会痛哭流涕,我绝不会流下一滴眼泪,只要你在我身旁。这些歌词赐给我力量。

我在想象中拥她入怀,让她不受世界的伤害,将我的爱根植于她的心中。然而我知道,这一情形在现实生活中出现的可能性微乎其微。

然而,在那个夏日发生的某件事情,让一个害羞的男孩转变为一个男人。回首往事,我还是不知道那是什么。或许是本·E. 金的歌声促使我变得成熟。本·E.金抓住了像我这样的男孩的浪漫情怀。

然而出乎我意料的是,事情发生得如此突然。我们站在她家门廊上,夜空中飘荡着收音机里传来的本·E.金成熟而富有磁性的歌声。我à起她的胳膊,让她面向我,我猜那一刻,她明白将会发生什么。

我身体前倾,吻了她,那是一个长久的、深深的、热烈的吻,我像男子汉一样吻着她。然后,我望着她的双眸,她明白我亲吻了她。

那一刻,她仿佛呆住了,于是,我又一次亲吻了她。这一次,我用尽积蓄了整整两年的所有感情亲吻着她。

我们再也没有像那样吻过,实际上,我们再未亲吻过。

那个夏天,她搬了家。然而每当我听到“嘭嘭嚓、嘭嘭嘭”的乐声,就会想到她。甜蜜胜过葡萄酒,轻柔赛过仲夏夜。

如意郎君

Mr. Right

佚名 / Anonymous






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