I stopped sniffling and looked at her. Her mild blue eyes smiled into mine. Behind them lay an iron will. "We' ll have to work very hard, you and I, but I think we can do it. Now that I know what the problem is, we can try to overcome it. I' m going to hire a tutor who knows about dyslexia. I' ll work with you myself evenings and weekends." Her eyebrows drew down as she peered at me. "Are you willing to work, Peter? Do you want to try?"
A ray of hope shone through the hazy future. "Yes, Mom. I want to real had."
The next six years were an endurance run for both of us. I studied with a tutor twice a week until I could haltingly read my lessons. Each night, my mom and I sat at my little desk and rehearsed that day' s schoolwork for at least two hours, sometimes until midnight. We drilled for tests until my head pounded and the print blurred before my eyes. At least twice a week, I wanted to quit. I had the strength of a kitten, but my mom' s courage never wavered.
She' d rise early to pray over my school day. A thousand times I heard her say, "Lord, open Peter' s mind today. Help him remember the things we studied."
Her vision reached beyond the three R' s. Twice I won at statewide speech competitions. I participated in school programs and earned a license to work as an announcer on a local radio station.
Then my mother developed chronic migraines during my senior year. She blamed the headaches on stress. Some days the intense pain kept her in bed. Still she' d come to my room in the evening, wearing her robe, an ice pack in her hand, to study with me.
We laughed and cried when I passed my senior finals. Two days before graduation I talked to my mother and father about Bible college. I wanted to go, but I was afraid.
Mom said, "Apply at the Bible Institute in our town. You can live at home, and I' ll help you."
I put my arms around her and hugged her close, a baseball-sized lump in my throat.
A week after graduation, my mom felt a stabbing pain in her head. She became disoriented for just a moment, but seemed to be all right. It was another migraine, she thought, so she went to bed. That night Dad tried to wake her. She was unconscious.
A few hours later, a white-coated doctor told us Mom had an aneurysm that had burst. A massive hemorrhage left us no hope. She died two days later.
My grief almost drowned me. For weeks I walked the floor all night, sometimes weeping, sometimes staring at nothing. Did I have a future without my mother? She was my eyes, my understanding, my life. Should I still enroll in Bible school? The thought of going on alone filled me with terror. But, deep inside, I knew I had to move on to the next step, for her.
When I brought home the first semester' s books and course outlines, I sat in the chair at my little desk. With trembling fingers, I opened my history book and began to read the first chapter. Suddenly, I looked over at the chair she used to sit in. It was empty, but my heart was full.
Mom' s prayers still followed me. I could feel her presence. I could sense her faith.
In my graduation testimony I said, "Many people had a part in making Bible college a success for me. The person who helped me most is watching from Heaven tonight. To her I say, ' Thank you, Mom, for having faith in God and faith in me. You will always be with me.' "
我跟着母亲走进医生办公室，一屁股坐到母亲旁边的一把软椅子上，感觉口干舌燥。医生没有戴听诊器，他的房间里满是小装置和小玩意儿，那是用来分析成绩不好的学生是否具有学习障° 的。那天，他给我作了全面检查。
医生不紧不慢地· 看着病历，然后用食指推了推金丝边的眼镜，说：“我很遗憾地告诉你，杜夫人，彼得患的是阅读障° ，比较严重。”
我局促不安，几乎要窒息了，并努力使自己的心情平静下来。医生接着说：“他顶多能读到四年级，既然无法上高中，我建议你还是让他去上职业学校吧，那样，他还能学到一些手艺。”
我不要去职校，我还要像爸爸一样当牧师呢。我热泪盈眶，却强忍住了，我12岁了，已骗是大孩子了，不能再哭了。
妈妈站了起来，我也跟着从椅子上跳了起来。“谢谢您，医生！”她说，“走吧，彼得。”
我们没再说什么，便开车回了家。我麻木了，阅读障° ？直到上周我才听说还有这么一种病。的确，我总是班里反应最慢的一个，课间休息时，我总会跑到灌木丛后边去，那是我所拥有的藏身之处。我会躲在那里，偷偷地流泪，因为无论我怎么努力，成绩总是不尽如人意。
当然了，我从未把这些事情告诉妈妈，我很羞愧。况且，我也不想让她为我担心，她在学校里全天上课已够心烦的了，而且她还要照顾爸爸和我们兄弟姐妹四人。
我和妈妈到家时，其他人都还没回来。我很高兴，我想一个人待一会儿。我垂头丧气地脱下外套，把它挂到壁橱里。当我转身时，母亲就站在我的面前，她一句话也没说，只是站在那儿默默地看着我，眼泪簌簌地滑过她的脸。看到她哭得那么伤心，我心里难受极了。不知为什么，我扑到她的怀里像个宝宝似的大哭起来。几分钟后，她把我带到客厅的沙发那儿。
“坐下吧，亲爱的，我想和你聊聊。”
我用袖口抹了抹眼泪，等着她开口，我的手不由自主地摆弄着裤子上的皱褶。
“你都听到了，医生说你不能完成学业，但我不相信。”
我停止了抽泣，盯着她看，她微笑着，那漂亮的蓝眼睛温柔地注视着我，在这温柔的背后隐藏着她无比坚强的意志。“我们必须齐心D 力，我想我们一定能成功。现在，我已骗知道问题的症结所在，我们要努力克服它。我打算给你请一位懂得如何应对阅读障° 的家庭教师，每天晚上和周末我来陪你一起学习。”她凝视着我，说：“彼得，你想努力学习吗？你愿意尝试一下吗？”
一道希望的曙光照亮了我那无法预知的未来生活。“妈妈，我愿意尝试。”
对我和妈妈来说，接下来的六年就像是漫长的耐力跑。家庭教师一周教我两次，直到我能结结巴巴地读出所学的课文。妈妈每晚陪我坐在小书桌旁，复习当天学校里学的课业，每晚至少要两个小时，有时甚至会到半夜。我们反复地做试卷上的习题，最后我头昏得都看不清卷子和书上的字了。每周至少两次，我都想中途放弃了。我的意志时而坚强时而脆弱，而母亲从未动摇过。
每天她都早早起床，为我的学业祈祷。我千万次地听到她说：“仁慈的上帝啊，开动彼得的脑筋，让他记住我们学过的所有知识吧。”